What is Self-Esteem?

Self Esteem is a fundamental power in your life. How you feel about yourself extends to all areas of your life and will determine the quality of your health, relationships and creativity as well as your behaviour and your motivation. For example, if you are in the spiritual empowerment process where you respect and love yourself, you will be more likely to engage positive actions in your life. But if you repeat to yourself and think, “I am not enough”, “what’s the point in doing this” or “I am good for nothing”, this won’t help you feel good.

To help you understand the link between Self-Esteem and life, you’ve got to understand that you are what you think. So what you think of yourself determines your success and the level of happiness you live with. This means that you create your own life and your own reality. No one else can do it for you, you have the responsibility for the quality of your life. From this moment, you understand how your level of Self-Esteem is a principal power that can impact your life positively or negatively and that it is fundamental to empower it.

Self esteem is based on two different aspects that I am going to develop: Choice and Love.


Choices are what creates your life. They are constantly present and in a way are a gift, as thanks to them, life becomes unique and of your own creation. For your entire life, you get to choose from an infinite possibility of paths.

However, choices are what scare us the most. Because they give you responsibilities. And their quality will depend on the esteem you have for yourself. The more confident you are, the more you listen to your intuition and choose the paths that are best for you. But fear is very strong and lots of people with low Self-Esteem choose self sabotage rather than an unknown and insecure path that will make them discover more about themselves. Because when they get to know more about their real power, it is impossible for them to return to their comfort zone.

Most of the time, when people are lost between choices it’s because of a lack of daring. They will find somebody to confirm their ideas and ask them what they think? and what they would do in the same situation? This is a paradox as they will think they get more confidence by following someone else’s idea. But this is only a feeling. This is how you create someone else’s life, not your own. If you need to ask for the permission of others to become empowered, you’re not going to get there.

“Imagine what your life would be like if nobody could intimidate you again. (…) Because you’ve become such an elegant spirit, silently empowered. You’ve got that invisible sense of I know who I am, I’ve got my priorities in life lined up and I am no longer fighting and battling for the right to be alive psychically, spiritually or physically”. Caroline Myss

All the pain and suffering you’ve got in your life can be resolved if you just stand up for yourself. Tell yourself you don’t want to live that way anymore, realise what you are doing to yourself and take action.


Love is a complex feeling. Without Self-Esteem, there can’t be much Self-Love. And without Self-Love, ask yourself what the love you give to others is like? What are your relationships like?
In general, people with low Self-Esteem will be looking for someone else to give them the love they need. They will try to build self focused relationships, thinking, “how can he/she love me?” and not “how can I love him/her?”. Again, they will try to find people’s attention to fill their need of love and fight the fear of being alone. This kind of relationship is uni-directional and the person with low Self-Esteem won’t understand or accept that the other person loves themselves more than them, as it is impossible for them to love themselves more than someone else. You have to find your own potential to love by taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.

You have to discover that you have all the power within you to change and create the life you want. You will then understand positivity brings positivity and negativity brings negativity. This is all a question of the choices you make.
Choosing the path of development and empowerment is a gift you give to yourself and others as your Self-Esteem has an impact on everything in your own life and those around you.

So now, get out there and fall in love with who you are.


7 thoughts on “What is Self-Esteem?

  1. Charlie, so profound …love how you simplify it 🙂 “discover that you have all the power within you to change and create the life you want. ” love and abundance :)xx


    • Thank you Valerie, I try to find the best words to express my thoughts and share the most informations with my readers.


    • Thank you Lucie for your comment. “I’ve been quite unforgiving of myself recently”. This reminds me of a study called ”The Moment That Turns Your Values Upside Down” that Dr Wayne Dyer talks about in the film “The shift”.
      It is about the most important priorities in men and women’s life before and after their “quantum moment”. I’m not going to detail everything here but what I mean is that before that moment, women’s priorities are Family, Independence, Career, Fitting in and Attractiveness. Most of these values are based on how we are supposed to be and look to please others. Women are raised to be a good mother and to care for everyone else. We are in confrontation between what we have learnt to do and our own desires and identity.
      I think this doesn’t help us to love, accept and respect ourselves first. And we have to work even harder to empower our self-esteem.


  2. Love this post Charlie. I am really trying to be more forgiving and mindful of my own thoughts and feelings and understand that I need to feel good first before I can express that outward. Thanks for sharing…
    Blessings to you. x


    • Yes Sereena. And I really think this choice is a gift you give to yourself.
      After all, we often give gifts to others but never to ourselves, why is that?
      Thank you for your comment 😉


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